When I was single, I would look at my sister and brother-in-law’s marriage and hope that one day I’d have a relationship as wonderful as theirs. They’ve always been so easy together and you can genuinely feel the love and respect they have for each other just by being around them. Now, years later, I have friends who look at the relationship The Hubby and I have and they say the same thing about us. Honestly, if I were to pin-point the one trait about each of our relationships that makes people long to have a similar one, it would have to be that they look “effortless”. In reality however, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
All relationships take work and a lot of it to make them great. The thing about my relationship with The Hubby and my sister’s relationship with her husband is that we don’t even realize we are working at them. The key is we honestly love and respect each other so much that the effort we make just automatically flows like water from an open faucet. Yet, as with everything that is good there is always room for improvement. So here are 7 Magical Ways to Make Your Good Relationship Better.
1. Be Spontaneous
The Hubby and I have some rituals both of us like a lot. On Thursdays we order take out Sushi, every Saturday and Sunday we take Quinley to the dog park, if we don’t have other plans, and each New Years for the last few years we’ve celebrated with a gathering of friends at our house. Having a few predictable events that occur in your relationship is fine, but in order to keep a things fresh…you need to add a little spontaneity. Try surprising your honey with a dinner out at a restaurant you’ve never tried. Or perhaps go see a movie neither of you would ordinarily pick to see. Best of all, without getting too R rated…try a new sexual position or even a different place in your house, (or elsewhere…wink, wink), to enjoy each other. The changes you make don’t have to be big, even small changes such as these will go a long way to make significant changes in your enjoyment of each other.
2. Go out of your way to do something nice for your partner
There’s no need to explain what it feels like when someone does something nice for you because the feeling is down right awesome. But when the effort comes from your spouse or significant other, the joy is always that much sweeter. And this is one of those things you can easily do everyday. It’s as simple as making coffee or tea for your sweetie in the morning or if there’s time, fixing them breakfast in bed. If you live in a cold region you could go de-ice their car and even get it running so it’s nice and toasty for them when they leave. Things like this that really don’t take a lot of time or effort can really go a long way to making that special someone feel so happy. And that’s what it’s all about, right?
3. Give your partner 100% of your attention
Lack of attention is a real doozy when it comes to wrecking a relationship. I mean, everyone wants someone to pay attention to them, most importantly the person you are spending your life with. Yet we all have other things on our minds, deadlines to meet, unfinished projects, what to make for dinner or that awesome vacation you are dreaming about. But I’m telling you right now…put it all out of your mind! Drop everything you are doing and give your full attention to your partner. I’m not saying you must do this 24/7, no…what I’m saying is when your significant other is talking to you or perhaps you are simply spending an evening or a day out together, it is imperative that you give them 100% of your attention. Doing so will create a stronger bond between you two as everyone longs to be validated and when you validate someone, your connection gets stronger.
4. Compliment your partner
Compliments are like little pick-me-ups wrapped as a pretty package of spoken words. Seriously, you could be in the worst mood ever, yet if someone compliments you your attitude instantly brightens. And when it comes to relationships, we all want to know our partner appreciates the way we look or even the things we do. So be sure to sincerely compliment your sweetie as much as possible, the effort will come back to you in many ways.
5. Make time when you first see each other at the end of the day to kiss and embrace for at least 10 seconds
This one is a biggie and yet it is one that is so often forgotten due mostly due to the length of time in a relationship . Let’s face, we all know after a while with the same person the “honeymoon” stage fades into something that is a little less touchy feely. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Now I’m not saying you should act like teenager on Spring Break, but having some physical and emotional contact is definitely needed to enhance that spark that brought together in the first place. So do this and your established relationship will be better in no time at all.
6. Make romantic plans
As stated above, after a significant amount of time with the same person romance sometimes subsides. But you have the power to bring it right back in so many ways. One of them is by making romantic plans. Have you ever noticed how when you’re on vacation in a tropical place or anywhere that oozes with romance, everything in your relationship just feels more romantic? Yeah, it’s the power of suggestion. Think in romantic terms and romance will follow. It’s as simple as that.
7. Each time you leave each other always say I love you
This is one of the many things I truly love about The Hubby as he just says it to me, and he says it often. So, at the very least, you should make it a point to say it each time you leave your partner. Why? Because even though we know our partner loves us, it’s nice to hear them say it out loud. And…don’t you want the last thing passed between you two before wherever you are off to to be something positive? Obviously in saying these three important words you really have to mean it, but in doing so it’s such a simple way to make your love that much more enjoyable.
And there you have it, my 7 ways to make your good relationship better. Give ’em a try. Not all at once of course…but implement a few here and there and you’ll be surprised how truly magical they are.
Have a Fab You Bliss day!
All photographs are from Stephanie Saul Photography. This couple is one of my 2012 bride and grooms. Mary and Brian, I can’t wait for your July 2012 wedding!